Stop it!

I’m tired to be afraid,
I’m tired to let it be,
I’m tired to have hope ,
I’m tired of waiting for,

No body can say I didn’t take risks,
Nobody can say I haven’t tried,
Nobody can say I’m not giving my best,

But maybe, from where I see, I’m not giving my all,
I’m not trying hard enough,
I’m not being my best! Or honest with me,

I feel I’ll never know, what’s is the point for all this,
I feel lonely, empty, I feel blue.
It seams I’m loosing track of myself.

I am the one to blame!
I’m just getting hard with how life goes,
I’m seeing it’s true colors,
I’m seeing it’s shades of gray!

I need to stop the thoughts,
STOP IT! Stop it!

Those days

Some days you feel that you have what it takes.
That it is just a matter of time, your sun is about to shine.
And there are the other days. The days you feel lost still. You ask what you are doing wrong. Or what are you not doing at all.
And those days others are going to tell you are not good enough.
Don't take it personal, a pure spirit will arm you heart against the sadness that live in others. 

FAR FROM THE SIGHT, CLOSE TO THE HEART

I feel lonely,
Yeah, I know I shouldn't but I feel.
Loneliness is involuntary, compulsive, quiet and dry.
Loneliness and lostness.
Feeling of having lost your connections, your routes, your north.

It is when you turn around and all you see are strange faces and places,
And you don't want to discover anymore, you just want to go home.
But where is home?
If what you came for is still far and where you came from is not something you want to comeback.

In the middle of the way.
You do what you suppose to do.
You wait what you suppose to wait.
You forget what is suppose to forget.
And nobody sees what you struggle to keep.

The vision of a dream came true holds you tight.
Sometimes is the only way you can still breath,
Even wondering like the wind, you mind and soul whisper the steps,
You walk blind following you heat beats but still don't see.

Do you believe?

It gets into a point where your decisions will show how much you believe.
Time flies and I am still trying to stay true to me, who I am.
And you still doubt, Did I try hard enough, did I do all I could?
I justo don't wanna die with this question.
It is been 10 years I wright about me, my loves and experiences... my fears.
So many things happened but I am still afraid to live.

I jumped into another culture looking for inner answer but I still kept afraid of the dark.
I've done so much, not enough to feel strong and happy fully.
I want but I have to make this desire to grow and take over me.
I have to make it explode where nothing be left apart from this true.

I need to find. See inside me. I know what makes me happy.
I need to be strong with myself and make it happen.