Mirror mirror

Mirror mirror, 

David just passes in front of the mirror, look at himself, and ask:

David: I look like shit! ... Why am I feeling so miserable?

The mirror: The question is how are you letting yourself feel miserable?

David: Who are you?

The Mirror: Ahh, what is your name?

David: My name is David. 

The Mirror: My name is David

David: (small laugh) Ha. Did you just say your name is David because I said My name is David?

The mirror:  I guess so. I am your reflection. I don't know what name I would have if I wasn't reflecting you. 

David: (pause) very disturbed) If I said my name is Laura. What would be your name?

Mirror: My name is... Laura. 

David: (swallow thinking that he may be getting crazy) So, Laura, you are my reflection right now, right? So you know exactly why I am feeling so lost and miserable, right?

Mirror: Sorry, I got confused.  What is your name again?

David: David. 

Mirror: So, why did you call me Laura? 

David: I was just messing with you. Can you feel how I feel right now? This Anxious, this sadness. I don't know how I got to this point. 

Mirror: Well, David. I think I reflect on how you feel but I don't know why is that. I just feel. I am not you, I don't have your memories and your past. I am just now. What I know for sure is that you have been asking the wrong questions. 

David: How so?

Mirror: Well, not knowing your past, your memories, not knowing what you had for breakfast or example...

David: Eggs

Mirror: What?

David: You said, you don't know what I had for breakfast, am sorry, continue, please... 

Mirror: I live the present, I am only able to reflect and feel and experience your present. Not your past, your regrets, not your sad or happy memories, not your worries. And that is how I think you should live. The present. 

David: What you know about life if you never left this room. You never met anybody else, you never fell in love. 

Mirror: This word. I've heard so many times before, and every time you are happy you always sing this song: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you never know dear, how much I love you..."

David: Are you spying on me?

Mirror: I know what love is and I had fallen in love too. 

David: (mesmerized) How, how is that possible?

Mirror: There was this bird that went through that window and started to sing for me, just the way you do. The sound of his voice, the way he looked at me, with admiration, and astonishing. I could feel exactly how I reflected you when you sing that song. I could feel in love. At that moment I was complete. At that moment I did not need anything else. 

David: And what happened next? 

Mirror: You entered the room and the only moment I felt loved flew away. And every day since I hope to see Mr. French again. 

David. Mr. French, is that the name of the bird? 

Mirror: Well, he never told his name. I guess I had to give him one. 

David: Wow. 

Mirror: And that is how I know you have been asked the wrong questions. How are you letting yourself feeling miserable if you have everything to be happy? You must concentrate on the now. Live constantly in the present, not regretting the past, not losing time worrying too much about the future. Because at any moment, the present of you now could fly through the window and never come back. 

Opaco

Ha algum tempo eu não canto mais,
Há algum tempo eu não oro mais,
Há algum tempo, não me pego namorando o céu e as nuvens,
Há algum tempo meus dias ficaram cinzas.



Fico pensando se é um processo natural.

Circle

Hey there!
It’s been a while.

All I wanted to say is that I am breathing the same questions,
I didn’t stop comparing my life,
My soul became a little bit older and a bit bitter.

I am still trying to convince myself that what the others want for me is what I should want too.
And I am still excusing my life not being how I wanted, just thinking I should be grateful for what I have.

It’s missing in me right now, a bit of faith and hope.
My now isn’t bad, but it’s not what I dreamed of.

Am I ungrateful for thinking like that?

Sometimes, I say to my mind to shut up and stop morning.
The colors are always gray in the winter and I should resilient and find my brightness.

But I feel my soul sore, as my brain, my back and foot.
I am fading away, becoming someone else that is nott. Everyone becomes something...

I always felt the time ticking, but as the Alice in The wonderlad’s  rabbit, I’ve been hidden in holes.
I am so small, and when you see the gain of sand I am and how kettle I can against fate, I just cover my wad like a kid on the thunder rain.

I need music, a ruela pot and and bed.
Tomorrow is another day.

Is it time to let go?

All that I believe is what I always known,

Since the beginning, before I was born,

I think you’re born knowing everything,

You are connected with the light,

With the universe, you’re a part of a galaxy explosion flouting lose,

Once you grow up, life on earth attract you,

Trick your mind to make you forget where you came from. 

You learn how to behave in society,

How tho shut up your inner voice,

To not discuss, to not discord, to not criticize.

They make you believe they’re right you’re wrong. 

But life does curves, always find a way...

Your just need to believe and let it go.

Live it now

Sometimes I feel that everything I’m living is a great gift.

I don’t feel that I conquered much, or that I conquered what I want to do in my life. 

The fact that I am with Paulo puts me in a position that I am where I am because of him. 

I recognize he pushes his life and progress and challenges and he gets what he wants and I just watch it. 

I wanna fight too, I wanna be successful too. I don’t want that he leaves me behind. I wanna be part of his future. 

My acting career is the key. I know I can do other things but my heart still feels I can’t give up. 

But I need to be realistic. If I don’t win the job  battle, be successful in anyway he eventually will leave me...

I’m afraid of the future coz I feel life is saving me from suffering and is the suffering that challenges us to grow and fight.

I worry of my soul being trapped in an everyday life but I worry this is only a calm wave before the storm. 

Where are you?

Tell me about your passions,

But tell me the truth, not what you think I want to hear!

Tell who you think you are, not who people say  you are. 

Tell me about your fears, you can cry if you want,. 

I know you. Even when you are trying to improvise. 

I know you, even when you are not sure, even when you think you’re not enough.

It would be easier to forget, 

Just easier to give up and become nomb, insensitive.

Maybe it would be just easier.

Easier if you ignored your guts and surrendered to the ignorance of those who just survive not live.

Stop it!

I’m tired to be afraid,
I’m tired to let it be,
I’m tired to have hope ,
I’m tired of waiting for,

No body can say I didn’t take risks,
Nobody can say I haven’t tried,
Nobody can say I’m not giving my best,

But maybe, from where I see, I’m not giving my all,
I’m not trying hard enough,
I’m not being my best! Or honest with me,

I feel I’ll never know, what’s is the point for all this,
I feel lonely, empty, I feel blue.
It seams I’m loosing track of myself.

I am the one to blame!
I’m just getting hard with how life goes,
I’m seeing it’s true colors,
I’m seeing it’s shades of gray!

I need to stop the thoughts,
STOP IT! Stop it!